Should I or shouldn't I? My mind is reeling between these two words for the past two days. Why do I always fear taking risks? .......no answer? Why do I always get paranoid thinking of doing something new?......no answer. Where did my self confidence go?......no answer. Too many questions running in mind. But its time for me to make a move, if not I know well that I will fall back to the same old routine of unhappiness and cribbing why me always........I need to get out am desperate.....Time for action.....
On Aug 4, 2010 one year went and what did I achieve here? I am struggling to find a positive answer. All negatives and fighting inside saying Me First! Me First!. But am adamant I need to say something positive FIRST!. Common! you can't always be negative. Everything happen for a reason and my friend Mr MA who is in Singapore always say :-). So believe that you landed here in last August for a reason, for you to learn something........
K.. now back to what I learned or achieved in Last one year!
+s......
a. A good name in the institution
b. Got into the good books of reporting head for good work
c. Got few good friends
d. Gained confidence that I can actually write better English
e. Improved my communication and negotiating skills
-ves........
a. Lost my Confidence
b. Under paid
c. Lost technical skills
d. Isolated, ingnored and was dominated
e. Increased cribbing, this is not fine, that is not fine, why always me bla bla bla.........
hmmm, not bad I could list out something atleast. A year is more than enough, time for change.....Still confused? Even after giving shape to my confusion on my Good Lord! what am I to do?........Take a decision....Alright here I go..............C ya!
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Love or Crush
Is it crush that I feel for him or is it true love? Now tell me what is a true love? What not I have done to be noticed by him..But all in vein. Why I get so panicky when he is near me to discuss something.. Hearing his voice make many butterflies flutter in my stomach. I check hundred times in mirror if my face is okay, is my hair fine am I looking pretty (atleast I think so :-) )and will get up every second to straighten my dress.. Did he ever notice me, not so I remember.
I got his mobile number. Called him thrice, he spoke so well. Used to sms him daily but he never responded. He was busy always. One day he told me he won't sms me, but will respond to my calls. That too he didn't keep. Then I mailed his responded for few then left.... Does he already have some one in life? May be. But why can he atleast talk to me and make me realise that 'see am not interested in you, so better clear out of my way'.
Oh God! what am I expecting....I don't know. Why do I long for someone who don't even know me and who is here for few more months. But still I long for his attention, which is vein. Wait a minute some one is calling me or is it a door bell. Oh come on pull yourself out of blanket come on. Not a call, not door bell... its an alarm waking me up to reality.........
I got his mobile number. Called him thrice, he spoke so well. Used to sms him daily but he never responded. He was busy always. One day he told me he won't sms me, but will respond to my calls. That too he didn't keep. Then I mailed his responded for few then left.... Does he already have some one in life? May be. But why can he atleast talk to me and make me realise that 'see am not interested in you, so better clear out of my way'.
Oh God! what am I expecting....I don't know. Why do I long for someone who don't even know me and who is here for few more months. But still I long for his attention, which is vein. Wait a minute some one is calling me or is it a door bell. Oh come on pull yourself out of blanket come on. Not a call, not door bell... its an alarm waking me up to reality.........
Frequent Blogging
Is seventh day of new year. I broke my first New Year resolution the day I took oath I will never break it. I realise now it that New Year Resolutions are the least kept promises. I promised me my self I will be a frequent blogger from 2010. But its after seven days am posting another write up :-)
But must say I am happy this year. Each day I wake up with a promise to myself come what may I will be happy, will not be depressed and I hope to keep the spirit going.
But must say I am happy this year. Each day I wake up with a promise to myself come what may I will be happy, will not be depressed and I hope to keep the spirit going.
Friday, January 1, 2010
New Year Resolution
Happy New Year
This year too I thought of taking some New Year Resolution. But as it is know the resolutions are the least kept promises... SO came the instant decision no more resolutions......
Still some things I hope to change....Firstly my meek level of confidence, secondly to communicate more, keep the optimism that I will gain perfect health soon...and many more...
I hope this New Year will end my search of the dream partner, my life's best friend too....My life will take a new turn in 2010. More commitments are on its way. New members are added to my sweet family, new responsibilities and so on
Welcome 2010!
This year too I thought of taking some New Year Resolution. But as it is know the resolutions are the least kept promises... SO came the instant decision no more resolutions......
Still some things I hope to change....Firstly my meek level of confidence, secondly to communicate more, keep the optimism that I will gain perfect health soon...and many more...
I hope this New Year will end my search of the dream partner, my life's best friend too....My life will take a new turn in 2010. More commitments are on its way. New members are added to my sweet family, new responsibilities and so on
Welcome 2010!
New Year Day in IIMB
This pleasant day in IIM began for me with a little hurry berry in morning. Since I had planned a few things which I will follow in the New Year 2010 I slept early on Dec 31. But God and my body had other plans. So I got up late, all plans upside down, Bangalore's dear power cut made matter worse...After all this too I could reach sharp 9 am to Office...
The day started pleasantly exchangingl Warm New Year wishes to all. Cool breeze still continue to blow in the campus spreading the coolness to mind too..
I never had any close friends here, but today I had a few people with whom I went around campus, had lunch in Staff Canteen which I never did...leading to turning of heads and surprise eyes :-)
Funny, but I liked it. The longing to walk through the whole greenary of the Campus intensify in me..If I had a good company here, I would have done that long back..
My work make me stick to computer like its mouse...Few months to go...Before time passes away I wish to experience and take in to my mind, impression of the lovely campus...
Its noon now, after a good lunch, relaxed and mind is at ease...thinking of a weekend makes it more peaceful
2010 began pleasantly hopes it continues.....
The day started pleasantly exchangingl Warm New Year wishes to all. Cool breeze still continue to blow in the campus spreading the coolness to mind too..
I never had any close friends here, but today I had a few people with whom I went around campus, had lunch in Staff Canteen which I never did...leading to turning of heads and surprise eyes :-)
Funny, but I liked it. The longing to walk through the whole greenary of the Campus intensify in me..If I had a good company here, I would have done that long back..
My work make me stick to computer like its mouse...Few months to go...Before time passes away I wish to experience and take in to my mind, impression of the lovely campus...
Its noon now, after a good lunch, relaxed and mind is at ease...thinking of a weekend makes it more peaceful
2010 began pleasantly hopes it continues.....
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Last Day to bid Good Bye
My dear 2009,
I know its time to leave you and bid adieu. No regrets I have, but full of hope.......I know in hours 2010 will come..
You gave me so many good moments to cherish, to keep safely in my casket of memories, so as painful ones..
Good Bye dear 2009! Good Bye
I know its time to leave you and bid adieu. No regrets I have, but full of hope.......I know in hours 2010 will come..
You gave me so many good moments to cherish, to keep safely in my casket of memories, so as painful ones..
Good Bye dear 2009! Good Bye
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Am I lazy?
Every day when I get up I will think atleast today I will not waste my time. Will finish all the work I intend to do. Will learn, write and improve my writing skills. Prepare well for my CS exams. But no not even a single day I kept my word. Why so? Am I so lazy to follow what I preach?
I often advice other person. DO I follow the same? To my knowledge most of the things I preach I follow. But what about the ones left out? I must follow that too if it is right. Must find a way to manage my time little more accurately.
Yes am lazy to an extend. Let me put this way am lazy 20 percent to be specific :-). Laziness to an extend is good but it should not cross limit and became a way of living itself.
I often advice other person. DO I follow the same? To my knowledge most of the things I preach I follow. But what about the ones left out? I must follow that too if it is right. Must find a way to manage my time little more accurately.
Yes am lazy to an extend. Let me put this way am lazy 20 percent to be specific :-). Laziness to an extend is good but it should not cross limit and became a way of living itself.
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