Am confused :-P...Should I or Shouldn't I?

Should I or shouldn't I? My mind is reeling between these two words for the past two days. Why do I always fear taking risks? .......no answer? Why do I always get paranoid thinking of doing something new?......no answer. Where did my self confidence go?......no answer. Too many questions running in mind. But its time for me to make a move, if not I know well that I will fall back to the same old routine of unhappiness and cribbing why me always........I need to get out am desperate.....Time for action.....

On Aug 4, 2010 one year went and what did I achieve here? I am struggling to find a positive answer. All negatives and fighting inside saying Me First! Me First!. But am adamant I need to say something positive FIRST!. Common! you can't always be negative. Everything happen for a reason and my friend Mr MA who is in Singapore always say :-). So believe that you landed here in last August for a reason, for you to learn something........

K.. now back to what I learned or achieved in Last one year!

+s......
a. A good name in the institution
b. Got into the good books of reporting head for good work
c. Got few good friends
d. Gained confidence that I can actually write better English
e. Improved my communication and negotiating skills

-ves........
a. Lost my Confidence
b. Under paid
c. Lost technical skills
d. Isolated, ingnored and was dominated
e. Increased cribbing, this is not fine, that is not fine, why always me bla bla bla.........

hmmm, not bad I could list out something atleast. A year is more than enough, time for change.....Still confused? Even after giving shape to my confusion on my Good Lord! what am I to do?........Take a decision....Alright here I go..............C ya!